Communication Tools You Need For Your Marriage To Work

There are married couples who are struggling to communicate with one another at first. This is probably due to their different personalities which can take some time to adapt to. It might be that your spouse has the passive style of communication while you are more direct and straight to the point. There are times where your spouse might feel as if they are threatened by the way you communicate. It can also be very confusing if both of you don’t know what are you talking about.


If you want to know how the both of you can communicate better with one another, perhaps these three communication tools will help you out.

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Proper Timing

Any form of conversation can be successful if the timing is carefully chosen. Timing is always important when you want to start a particular conversation with your spouse. It might sound easy, but timing is actually hard to figure out especially if you want to have hard conversations.

Timing is also important when you want to share something with your spouse. Whether its sad moment or a joyful experience, you need to know when is the right time for you to come up with a particular conversation wherein you can express your feelings and experiences.

How To Respond

Arguments and conflicts in a marriage often stem from simple miscommunication. The good thing about them though is that you have to power to them immediately before they can escalate into something worse.

You see an argument will only start if a person responds differently to the one who initiated it. In short, the course of an argument is dictated by the person who responds to it. If you think that your spouse has said or done something that may start an argument, learning to respond to it in a right way instead of just reacting to it can prevent the argument from happening. So, instead of reacting to your spouse, why not say something like “Hey, what’s going on with you today? Is there something wrong? Maybe we can talk about it.” This way you can proactively prevent an argument from happening and work on the root issues instead.

The STOP Tool

This is the tool that you should use when you think the conversation is going out of control.

Stop: Stop the conversation if it starts to escalate into something worse or it begins to become uncomfortable for you.

Time Out: This is where you need to create some distance and give space for each other to think about what you have said in the conversation.

Own Your Part: During the time-out, you can use this time to take responsibility for your part in the argument or misunderstanding.

Peace Offering: After the time-out, it’s time to come back and start a conversation again but this you are making a peace offering. Make a promise or an apology that you will never do the same mistake again to your partner.


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